You can’t hide what you can’t hold. It’s there in the creases of your smile and the bed frame you spray-painted gold. You know, your words carry such weight. They make me turn inwards on myself and I become something that I hate. I can’t pretend that I’m not affected. How can I clear my head when you occupy whatever space that’s left there? So I’ll shut my brain off and stay suspended in space in case you want to talk to me. Caricature, I can’t exaggerate your features anymore. I’ve been hiding in a cold and quiet place so I can contemplate the coming days and catalogue the messes that we made. I’ll be waiting to hear back from you while you’re choking on nicotine fumes. When you’re aching for your phone to ring, I’ll be sinking in my surroundings. I’ll get swallowed up and I’ll be gone. I’ll get swallowed up like a feeling that leaves when you wake. You’ll swear it was so real and then it fades. And you’re left to feel hollow with half the conviction that you used to have.